Okay, here’s my blog post about the “The Tortured Poets Department Ranker” experience:
Alright, so everyone’s been losing their minds over Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” right? And naturally, the first thing I wanted to do (besides, you know, listen to it on repeat) was rank the songs. I’m a HUGE ranker person. It is fun for me.
I immediately hopped online, searched for “The Tortured Poets Department Ranker,” and boom, found one. It’s this simple, bare-bones website, but it gets the job done. I got a little thrill of anticipation; this was gonna be serious business.
The Process
The way it works is pretty straightforward. It presented me with two songs at a time, and my task was to pick which one I liked better. Sounds easy, but oh boy, some of these choices were agonizing.
I started clicking. “Fortnight” vs. “The Tortured Poets Department”? Okay, “Fortnight” wins for me, at least for now. Click. Next pair. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” vs. “Down Bad”? Oof, tough one. “Down Bad” is a bop, but that “My Boy…” line, though… In the end, I went with “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.” Click.
I kept going like this, pair after pair. Sometimes the choices were easy – instant favorites vs. songs that hadn’t quite grabbed me yet. Other times, I found myself staring at the screen, completely torn. Like, how do you even choose between “But Daddy I Love Him” and “So High School?” It is painful!
- “Fresh Out the Slammer” vs. “Florida!!!” (This one HURT.)
- “Guilty as Sin?” vs. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”(Seriously, how is this fair??)
- “loml” vs. “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” (Don’t even get me started…)
I persevered. It took a good chunk of time, not gonna lie. I probably spent longer ranking these songs than I did listening to the album the first time through (don’t tell anyone!). I mean, priorities, right?
The Results
Finally, I reached the end. The website generated my official ranking, my definitive list (at least for today). It felt… anticlimactic? I don’t know. It was more about the journey, the agonizing choices, the internal debate. It felt good to have a ranked list.
I also find that my rank changed a lot during this process! Songs that I didn’t think I’d like at first, I started appreciating them more when I put them side by side with other ones. I also love that you can do it for all of Taylor’s albums too. I’ve literally spent hours ranking her songs, haha!
Anyway, that’s how I spent my afternoon – a truly productive use of my time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go listen to the album again, and probably change my mind about everything.
