Alright, let’s gab about this Tom Hanks fella and his movies. Folks say he’s a big shot, but even big shots make some real stinkers, ya know? So, we’re gonna figure out which one of his movies is the absolute worst. Now, I ain’t no fancy movie critic or nothin’, just a regular person who knows what she likes and what she don’t. And some of these movies? I sure don’t like ’em.
First off, they talk about this movie called “Bonfire of the Vanities”. Says it came out in 1990. Folks online, they call it his worst, with only a 15 percent rotten tomatoes score. Fifteen percent! That’s like gettin’ one outta ten questions right on a test. Not good, not good at all. I ain’t seen it myself, but if that many folks say it’s bad, it probably smells like a barn full of week-old manure. Makes you wonder what ol’ Tom was thinkin’ when he signed up for that one. Maybe he needed the money, maybe he lost a bet, who knows? But a stinker’s a stinker, no matter how you slice it.
Then there’s this other one, “Cloud Atlas”. Now, some folks say it’s good, some say it’s bad, but it sure sounds confusing. I like my stories straight, like a good ol’ country road, not all twisty and turny like a city slicker’s directions. If you gotta think too hard to understand a movie, it ain’t worth the trouble, I tell ya. Tom Hanks, he likes it, apparently. But sometimes these actors, they like weird stuff. Maybe it makes ’em feel fancy or somethin’. But for regular folks like me and you? We just want a good story we can follow.
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- Worst Tom Hanks Movies: A Plain Folks’ Perspective
- Tom Hanks Box Office Bombs: Did They Deserve It?
And what about this “Terminal” movie? Heard it’s about some fella stuck in an airport. An airport! Who wants to watch a movie about bein’ stuck in an airport? I’d rather watch paint dry, or better yet, go pull weeds in the garden. At least that way you get somethin’ done. They say it’s based on a true story, but truth be told, some true stories just ain’t that interesting. Maybe Tom thought it was a good idea at the time, but seems like it didn’t quite pan out. Probably made a few folks yawn, that’s for sure.
Now, they got this new movie called “Here”. Just came out, and it flopped big time, only made five million dollars. Five million! For a Tom Hanks movie? That’s like finding a nickel in a haystack. They say it ain’t no good, and that Robert Zemeckis fella directed it, the same guy who did “Forrest Gump”. “Forrest Gump” was a good one, but seems like they lost their touch with this “Here” movie. Maybe Tom’s gettin’ too old for this stuff, or maybe he’s just pickin’ the wrong movies. Either way, it ain’t lookin’ good.
Tom Hanks’ net worth is a whole lot, like 400 million dollars they say. That’s more money than I can even imagine. You’d think with all that money, he could pick better movies, but I guess money don’t buy good taste. Or maybe it’s just hard to make a good movie, even if you’re a big shot like Tom Hanks. It takes more than money, that’s for sure. It takes a good story, good actors, and a good director, and sometimes, even then, it still don’t work out.
So, which one is the worst? Well, like I said, I ain’t seen all these movies, but based on what folks are sayin’, it sounds like “Bonfire of the Vanities” is the biggest stinker of the bunch. Fifteen percent rotten tomatoes, that’s hard to argue with. But even the good ones, they have their flaws. And even the bad ones, well, maybe there’s somethin’ in there worth watchin’. But if you’re lookin’ for a good Tom Hanks movie, I’d say skip the stinkers and stick with the classics. You know, the ones everybody loves. ‘Cause those are the ones that stick with you, the ones you remember long after you’ve seen ’em. And that’s what makes a good movie, ain’t it? Somethin’ that stays with you, somethin’ that makes you think and feel, somethin’ that reminds you of what it means to be human.
And that, my friends, is all I gotta say about that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed the chickens.
