Well now, let me tell ya’ll about this here Haunted Mansion thing at Disney World. It’s a spooky ride, real spooky, and people seem to like it a whole heap. They even got words they say on that ride, like a play or somethin’. Folks call it a script, fancy like.
So, the ride starts, and you’re in this big room, kinda dark and dusty. Then, this voice, kinda creepy but not too scary, it starts talkin’. It says somethin’ like, “Welcome, silly people, to the Haunted Mansion. I’m your ghost guy, the one showin’ ya around.” That’s how I remember it, anyway. Maybe not the exact words, but that’s the gist of it. It’s like they’re callin’ you a fool, but in a nice way, you know? Like, “Hey dummy, come on in!” Somethin’ like that. He calls it a gallery, like some fancy art place, but it’s just a room with weird pictures.
Then this voice, he keeps talkin’, tellin’ ya about the mansion and all the ghosts inside. He talks about creakin’ doors and such. Says somethin’ about hinges creakin’ even when there ain’t no doors! Can ya believe that? Spooky stuff, I tell ya. It’s like them doors are tryin’ to open themselves, even if there ain’t no door there at all! Just a wall, maybe, but with creakin’ sounds. Makes ya shiver a bit, even on a hot day. It makes you wonder what’s behind that wall, or what’s not behind that wall, you know?
- Thing One: The Ghost Guy’s Talk – He goes on and on, tellin’ stories and such. It’s like he’s tryin’ to scare ya, but also make ya laugh a little. He’s a funny ghost, that one. He talks about the mansion bein’ full of ghosts, 999 of ‘em, he says. That’s a whole lotta ghosts! Enough to fill a whole town, I reckon. And he says there’s room for one more…guess who that is? Yep, you!
- Thing Two: The Ride Itself – Now, you don’t just walk through this mansion. Oh no. You get in these little cars, they call ’em “Doom Buggies.” Sounds scary, right? Well, they are kinda spooky. They move slow, like, and they take you all through the mansion. You see all sorts of weird stuff. Ghosts dancin’, ghosts singin’, ghosts havin’ a party. They’re a lively bunch, those ghosts. Even though they’re dead, they seem to be havin’ more fun than some live folks I know.
- Thing Three: The Spooky Stuff You See – There’s this one room with a big table, and ghosts are sittin’ around it, havin’ a seance. You know, tryin’ to talk to the dead folks. But they’re already dead! It’s kinda funny when ya think about it. And there’s this lady, a ghost lady, she’s got a crystal ball. She’s lookin’ into the future, or somethin’. She says somethin’ about hitchhiking ghosts. Spooky! They’re all transparent and glowy, like them glow-in-the-dark stickers the kids play with. But bigger, and scarier, of course.
Now, this here Haunted Mansion script, it’s been around for a long time. This ride opened way back in 1971, can ya believe it? That’s older than my grandpappy! And they still say the same words, mostly. They changed it up a bit here and there, but the main parts are the same. Folks love it. Kids, grown-ups, everybody likes to get a little scared, I guess.
The ghost guy keeps talkin’ as you go through the mansion. He’s like your tour guide, but he’s a ghost! He points out all the spooky stuff, tells you little stories about the ghosts who live there. There’s a graveyard scene, with singin’ ghosts. They’re singin’ this song, kinda catchy, but also kinda creepy. It’s about grim grinning ghosts, comin’ out to socialize. They seem friendly enough, for ghosts, anyway. They’re just tryin’ to have a good time, I guess. Even dead folks need some fun, right?
And then there’s the part with the hitchhiking ghosts. That’s at the end, when you’re about to leave. These ghosts, they kinda follow you home, or so they say. They sit next to you in your Doom Buggy, and you can see ‘em in the mirror. They’re kinda cheeky, those ghosts. Always tryin’ to get a free ride. They make funny faces in the mirror, tryin’ to scare ya one last time. But by that point, you’re kinda used to the ghosts, so it’s not so scary anymore.
So, that’s the Disney World Haunted Mansion script in a nutshell, as best as I can tell ya. It’s a spooky ride, a fun ride, and a ride that a whole heap of folks seem to enjoy. It’s a classic, they say. And I reckon it’ll be around for a long time to come, scarin’ folks and makin’ ’em laugh for years and years. Just remember, it’s all just pretend. Them ghosts ain’t real…or are they? Heh, just kiddin’. Mostly.
They also got the same ride at another place, Disneyland I think it’s called. It’s pretty much the same, they say, but maybe a little different. Same ghost guy talkin’, same Doom Buggies, same spooky stuff. But folks argue about which one is better. Me, I ain’t been to that Disneyland, so I can’t say. But this here Haunted Mansion at Disney World, it’s good enough for me.
If you ever go to Disney World, you gotta ride the Haunted Mansion. It’s one of them things you just gotta do. Even if you’re scared, it’s worth it. Just close your eyes if it gets too spooky, and listen to that ghost guy talk. He’s the best part, in my opinion. He’s got a way with words, that ghost guy. He makes even the scary stuff sound kinda fun. And that’s the secret to a good Haunted Mansion script, I reckon. Scary, but fun. That’s what makes it a classic.
