[Body]
Well, let me tell ya, some of them album covers out there, they just make ya scratch your head and wonder what in the tarnation were them folks thinkin’. I ain’t no fancy art critic or nothin’, but I know what looks good and what looks like a dog’s breakfast. And some of these covers? They’re worse than a burnt batch of biscuits.
I saw one the other day, Scorpions somethin’ or other, Animal Magnetism, they called it. And lemme tell ya, the picture on it was just plain silly. Had some woman on it, lookin’ all kinds of uncomfortable. Didn’t make no sense to me. Just seemed like they were tryin’ too hard to be, you know, sexy or somethin’. But it just ended up lookin’ cheap and tacky, like somethin’ you’d find in the bargain bin at the dollar store.
Then there’s all them lists online, talkin’ ’bout the “Worst Album Covers Ever.” And boy, oh boy, they ain’t lyin’. Some of them are just plain hilarious, in a bad way, ya know? Like, they got these folks posin’ in clothes that look like they were made outta leftover curtains, or with hair that looks like it got caught in a blender. And the colors! Don’t even get me started on the colors. Bright pinks, and yellows, and greens, all clashin’ together like a bunch of pots and pans fallin’ down the stairs.
- One fella, djlanda I think his name was, he put together a whole list of ’em. Said somethin’ ’bout “glamour shots” and “psychedelic drugs.” Well, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no drugs, but I reckon them glamour shots musta gone wrong somewhere along the way.
- And then there was this other list, talkin’ ’bout “monumentally epic fails.” Epic fails, that’s a good way to put it, I reckon. They even mentioned some band called Smell The Glove. Can ya believe that? Smell The Glove! What kinda name is that? And the cover, I bet it was just as bad as the name.
Now, I heard tell of some fancy band, Pink Floyd or somethin’, and their album cover with a dang prism on it. Folks say it’s all deep and meaningful, with light and colors and all that jazz. But to me, it just looks like a triangle. Nothin’ special. They say it was supposed to be “simple and bold,” but I think they just ran outta ideas. At least it ain’t as bad as some of them other covers I seen.
I tell ya, it makes ya wonder who’s in charge of makin’ these decisions. Don’t they got no mamas or grandmas to tell ’em when somethin’ looks like a hot mess? I mean, I ain’t no artist, but I coulda done a better job myself, and I ain’t never even held a paintbrush in my life. Just goes to show ya, money don’t buy good taste.
Some of them covers, they just look like they were thrown together in five minutes. Like, they took the first picture they could find, slapped some words on it, and called it a day. No thought, no effort, no nothin’. And the worst part is, these bands probably paid good money for these things! It’s a crying shame, I tell ya. A real waste of hard-earned cash.
And then there are the ones that try to be all artsy and weird, but just end up lookin’ creepy and unsettling. You know, the ones with distorted faces or strange symbols or just plain bizarre imagery. They make ya feel like you’re lookin’ at somethin’ you shouldn’t be seein’. Like you stumbled into a nightmare or somethin’.
But I guess that’s what happens when you let folks with more money than sense run the show. They think they can just throw money at a problem and it’ll magically disappear. But sometimes, money just makes things worse. Especially when it comes to album covers. Sometimes, the simpler the better, ya know? Just a nice picture of the band, or maybe a pretty landscape. Nothin’ fancy, nothin’ complicated, just somethin’ that looks decent and doesn’t make ya wanna gouge your eyes out.
So, if you’re ever thinkin’ about makin’ an album, do yourself a favor and hire someone who knows what they’re doin’. Someone with a little bit of taste and a little bit of common sense. And if you can’t find anyone like that, just ask your mama. She’ll tell ya the truth, even if it ain’t what you wanna hear. ‘Cause that’s what mamas do. They keep you from lookin’ like a fool, even if it’s just on an album cover.
Tags: Worst Album Covers, Funny Album Art, Album Cover Fails, Bad Design, Music Humor, Pink Floyd, Scorpions, Smell The Glove
