Alright, let’s talk about this… uh… Dante Devil May Cry Action Figure, yeah? That’s what the young’uns call it. Don’t rightly know what all them words mean together, but it’s one of them doll things, you know? Like them little plastic people kids play with.
Now, this ain’t no ordinary doll, mind you. This fella, Dante, they say he’s a big deal in some game. Big fella too, I hear. They say he’s like, 6 foot 3, taller when he gets all riled up, like a rooster puffin’ its feathers. And heavy! Heavier than my prize-winning pumpkin, that’s for sure. Over 270 pounds, they say. Imagine luggin’ that around! My old bones would be creakin’ somethin’ awful.
This Dante fella, he’s got these guns, see? Ebony and Ivory, they call ’em. Fancy names, if you ask me. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find on a piano. But these ain’t for music, no sir. These are for shootin’ them demons or whatever they are in that game. Fast shooters too, they say. Like a woodpecker on a tin roof.
And the music in that game? Well, it’s all over the place, like a hen with its head cut off. One minute it’s all loud and rocky, the next it’s like them spacey sounds from the TV. Then it’s somethin’ else entirely. Don’t make no sense to me, but the young’uns, they seem to like it.
- They got all sorts of these Dante figures, you know.
- Some are big, some are small.
- Some got all sorts of fancy joints, so you can bend ’em and twist ’em like a pretzel.
- And the clothes! My goodness, the clothes. All fancy and…stylish, they say. I reckon he looks like one of them rock and roll singers from the TV.
I saw one online, they called it a “1:6 Scale Deluxe Action Figure“. Sixteen inches tall, near ten inches wide and seven inches deep that one were, Said it was from some game called “Devil May Cry III”. Looked real fancy, but what do I know? It’s just a doll to me. But them collectors, they go crazy for this stuff. Payin’ good money too. More than I make in a month sellin’ my jams and pickles, that’s for sure.
And there’s others, smaller ones. They got one, a “NECA Devil May Cry Ultimate Dante 7 Action Figure”, that’s seven inches tall, they say. Folks are sellin’ ‘em on that eBay thing. Free shippin’ too, some of ‘em say. Land sakes, how do they make any money givin’ things away like that? Must be nice to be rich, I reckon.
They talk about how realistic these figures are. How they look just like the fella in the game. And how you can pose ’em in all sorts of ways. Like he’s fightin’ or jumpin’ or somethin’. I tell you what, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Give me a good old-fashioned rag doll any day. At least you know it ain’t gonna break if you drop it.
But hey, to each their own, I always say. If them young’uns wanna spend their hard-earned money on these plastic fellas, that’s their business. Me? I’ll stick to my garden and my chickens. At least they don’t need batteries.
So, that’s the gist of it. This Dante fella, he’s a big deal in some game, and folks like to collect little plastic versions of him. They come in all shapes and sizes, and some of ‘em cost a pretty penny. More than a good settin’ hen, I’ll tell you that much.
Anyways, that’s all I got to say about this… Dante Devil May Cry Action Figure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my pies. They’re bakin’ in the oven and I don’t want ’em to burn.
And remember, if you go buyin’ one of them dolls, don’t go breakin’ the bank over it. There are more important things in life, like a good cup of coffee and a warm biscuit on a cold mornin’.
And for goodness sake, don’t go bringin’ no devils into my house. I got enough trouble with the raccoons gettin’ into my garbage.
Tags：Dante Action Figure, Devil May Cry Dante Figure, NECA, Action Figure, Capcom, Devil May Cry 3, Collectible, Figurine
